one or more of the following weaknesses:
Purpose and Focus and Critical Thinking: Presents a vague or limited point of view on the issue
Purpose and Focus: Demonstrates little awareness of audience
Purpose and Focus: Attempts to develop the main idea, although that attempt is inadequate
Organization: Is poorly organized and/or focused or demonstrates serious problems with coherence or
progression of ideas
Development and Support, and Critical Thinking: Provides inappropriate or insufficient examples,
reasons, or other evidence to support its position
Developmental and Support, and Critical Thinking: Demonstrates weak critical thinking with little
complexity of thought or with flawed reasoning
Sentence Variety and Style: Displays limited word choice and little sentence variety
Mechanical Conventions: Contains many errors in mechanical conventions of usage, sentence
structure, grammar, spelling and punctuation
Sample Essay Response – Score of 3
I do believe that any obstacle or disadvantage can be turned into something good. I believe this is because
people learn many things from their mistakes and that’s the only way. In the example that is provided, the actor
is obviously confused. The director makes a good point on how to work around it, and in a case where they
make use of the chair that’s in the way, which helps make it funny, exciting, or depressing. In a play or musical
of any type, it adds meaning. Not only does an obstacle or disadvantage get turned into something good, but it
can discover new things. Whenever any situation happens, such as in this case, I’d laugh if it’s funny, cry if it’s
dramatic, make a joke out of it, or act like it didn’t happen. Just keep in mind that the
purpose of life is to learn
from mistakes, which can turn into something good.
What we learn from this response
This response is an improvement, but it still does not directly address the assignment question and provide
quality support. Demonstrating weak critical thinking, this essay states a point of view (I do believe that any
obstacle or disadvantage can be turned into something good) but offers little support beyond an insufficient
discussion of the acting example given in the passage. Despite some attempt to develop the main idea, poor
organization leads to serious problems in progression of ideas (Whenever any situation happens, such as in this
case, I’d laugh if it’s funny, cry if it’s dramatic, make a joke out of it, or act like it didn’t happen. Just keep in
mind that the
purpose of life is to learn from mistakes, which can turn into something good). The response
contains many errors in usage and sentence structure. Also, like the score of 1 response, this score of 3 response
is too short and lacks multiple paragraphs. This response is only 156 words, still short of the minimum of 300.
Score of 5
Sample Essay response – Score of 5
In my lifetime, I have seen many ways an obstacle or disadvantage can be turned into a good think. Sometimes
when something bad happens, it can prepare you for the future obstacles to come.
Here is an example: if a
person gets a serious burn they would panic and not know what to do. If the same thing happened again, the
person would be more prepared and have knowledge from the previous experience.
Another example is if someone is on crutches, about to open the door, would you open the door for them? If
you are the person on crutches you would be at a disadvantage to others. But this can be turned into a good
thing. You now have someone to open the door for you, and this is a good way to meet people and make
friends.